Be at ease with your Self

You know, it's so easy to look outwards for - well, anything and everything. But especially validation... Love, acceptance... but it may never really come in the package that you want - or demand. So I've been learning over the last year how important it is not to expect people just to be what you want them to be. People have a right to be moody, miserable, annoyed with you, angry with you, not friends with you and even rude to you. But so what?
If you are your own friend, what does it matter how others treat you?
Finding a strong core inside your Self is very important. But if you're not used to trusting yourself like that it can take ages and AGES to find it. But it's there. Inside yourself you have strength, you just don't believe it yet.

I know i'm saying You You You - but I mean Me! me me! Coz the other day I felt a bit of strength inside after I fell into a very deep well of sadness after someone treated me WRONG! hehe! But I just forgot that why should people treat me the way I demand? It's like being a spoilt child. But it's so easy to demand that people tiptoe around you when you don't have any strength inside. It's like saying "Please, please be nice to me! Or you'll ruin my day - heck you'll ruin my life - because I don't like myself either, and if you're nasty to me and I'm nasty to me, why should I live?!"
Well those were the kinds of thoughts twirling around my head.
But after hours of sadness, I finally just told myself to STOP! just STOP! and there was such certainty in my voice - a resolutness - that I listened. I felt my mind, my soul, whatever wanting to pull down onto that well worn path. But I kept stopping myself, with an attitude of "lets see what will happen." I stopped myself crying, I stopped myself thinking - and I fell asleep.

When I awoke in the morning I felt different. I felt like for the first time ever, I could rely on myself. And you know what I felt too? I felt like "I don't mind how people treat me today." Because inside I felt that I can look after myself. I want to encourage this growth, for definite. But I won't lie - it's scary. That bit of strenght I found was a mere scrap, I need to nurture it and believe in it and walk a new path in my mind.